|
| I wanted to post yesterday to say merry christmas but
obviously didnt get around to it. So, today is the day after and its
still a merry christmas. We need to be thinking about new year's
resolutions. Ive already decided that my resolution is to not make any
resolutions and to get a whole new start, a new beginning for the new
year.
| | |
| Has it really been three
months since I updated! Shame on me! Busyness is no excuse. I have
actually been thinking deep and profound thoughts but havent had the
mind to put them anywhere but my written journal. One day I swear I am
going to turn those things into a book. What better material is there
than the deepest brightest and sometimes blackest thoughts
journaled on the pages meant for no one but me. Where do
you share your darkest moments? Not with other people. We try, and we
have some friends that we say we can tell anything to but there is
always a shaded barrier separating the truth and the almost truth.
Different amounts of shaded barriers distance us from the individual
people in our lives depending upon the level of security we have in
those people. We risk ourselves. Vulnerability makes us raw before the
listening party and if we arent sure how "safe" they are then we will
code our words. So who then is a true confidante? God. No, I would
venture to say most of us arent even utterly and completely vulnerable
before God-though we should have that confidence. That is not to say
that God isnt a true confidante-he is-Im saying we dont necessarily
engage Him on that level.
| | |
| The moon entrances me,
holds my gaze, captures the stare. It bathes the night in a white glow
exerting a certain, subtle power in stark contrast the sun's sometimes
overwhelming glare. It is alluring. I wish I could capture it and
bottle it up...
| | |
| I think in an instant what I say in a lifetime.
| | |
| I had this dream last night in which I was climbing a rock wall
hundreds of feet tall while holding rockclimbing gear in my arms (dont
ask how I did it, it was a dream remember). Climbing while carrying the
gear I should have been wearing, I reached a height about 3/4 of the
way to the top and I started fearing my next move. I was afraid of
going higher and equally afraid of going back down. Stuck. Frozen.
Paralyzed. And still I had a pile of rope and harness and carabiners in
my arms as I wedged myself into a crevice that allowed me some measure
of safety. Wearing gear would allow me to go higher easily because I
would feel safe despite the height. We all know Im not afraid of
heights (skydiving is a big part of my life) but I wasnt sure of my
ability to continue. I had a fleeting thought that throwing away all
the gear would allow me to climb better. Why didnt I have on the gear
from the very beginning? Hello! Not only would I have been able to
climb to the top, I would have been using the provided gear for
what it was intended. WHat does this all mean? I dont entirely know but
it is thought provoking.
| | |
|
|
